Noel Collyer abducted by Aliens

PNN Shock Horror Probe!

PNN has learnt that Noel Collyer was abducted by alien greys during the recent Discworld convention at the Adelphi Hotel, Liverpool. The photo below, taken somewhere at the con, shows him in mid-probe.

The alien abduction came as a considerable shock to fanzine fans, many of whom had refused to believe that Noel actually exists. Immortalised as ToolMan, this is a rare incident of him being seen other than in the company of a dodgy south coast duplicator. [You shouldn't talk about Maureen like that -- Ed.]

More seriously, this is just the latest in a series of criminal attacks at the Adelphi. Could they all be the work of aliens? PNN asked fannish security supremo John Harold to explain how the aliens were getting past his infamous security cordon, but he had no comment.

Noel is now recovering after his ordeal. Asked what wonders of technology he discovered, he is alleged to have replied "Oh, the probe was certainly interesting, but they didn't have anything to top my six inch tool".

This article should have a photo credit, but our roving reporter was drunk when Claire lent her the photo, and can't remember who took it. Someone from Croydon, at any rate. Tanya, maybe?

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Close Encounter of the fourth kind

-- Alison Scott

07 Oct 1998